As if wandering about the produce area for fifteen minutes looking for the inorganic zucchini was not irksome enough, once I escaped that level of hell, I was trailed by a guy who might possibly be the most tedious man on the face of the earth (or, at least, the Commonwealth of Virginia).
On and on he went in a very loud, whiny voice pontificating that “it is not what in particular one eats, but the important thing is to eat a varied and balanced diet.” I have no issues with his premise, in fact, it is a theory to which I subscribe. However, to hear that blowhard lecturing his mother (mother-in-law? nanny?) for three isles of grocery shopping in his oh-so-condescending manner nearly made me start beating him about the head with my $7.99 per pound pork loin roast (and why, pray tell, do I have to pay three times the amount for a pork loin without additives? ).
The mother (mother-in-law? nanny?) appeared to have fallen into some sort of daze that was only broken when the guy would ask her some inane question in support of his sermon (“What about eating such and such? Would that be good or bad for you?”) or when she would hit me with her grocery cart. Yes, three times she drove her cart directly into me. Not a word of apology or even a blink of acknowledgement. Perhaps she was hoping I would get so angry that I’d put her out of her misery with a large lined-so-there-is-no-dangerous-metal-seepage can of organically grown, fire-roasted (for her pleasure) tomatoes.
I finally got through the last of the dried food isles and saw my escape to the refrigerator case on the far side of the cheese display. Never have I been so happy for the opportunity to buy crème fraiche. Unfortunately, I did not escape without hearing his conclusion that “It is all so obvious to me, I don’t know why more people don’t see it.” Aaack. Whole Fools it is.
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