31 May 2005

That which we call a rose...

At one point or another, it seems there is a discussion on most food forums concerning what name to give the people who frequent them. A descriptive term for those who spend an above-average amount of time thinking about food, writing about food, cooking food, searching for food (like driving 60 miles round-trip to buy imported tomatoes), researching & reviewing food and debating food-related topics (such as what name to call themselves).

"Life's splendor forever lies in wait about each one of us in all its fullness, but veiled from view, deep down, invisible, far off.
It is there, though, not hostile, not reluctant, not deaf.
If you summon it by the right word, by its right name, it will come."
-- Franz Kafka (1883-1924)


Foodie -- Commonly used, but the general opinion is that this term, for a myriad of reasons, is objectionable. I tend to utilize it for lack of anything better.

"There is the name and the thing; the name is a sound which sets a mark on and denotes the thing.
The name is no part of the thing nor of the substance;
it is an extraneous piece added to the thing, and outside of it."
-- Michel de Montaigne (1533-1592)


Gourmet -- When a word such as this is printed on the labels of cans of cat food, its meaning has been seriously compromised.

"It is pitiful when a man bears a name for convenience merely,
who has earned neither name nor fame."
-- Henry David Thoreau (1817-1862)


Gourmand -- This can have the same definition as gourmet, but it can also mean a "gluttonous eater". Watch what you say or you'll insult your French tante!

"“Must a name mean something?” Alice asked doubtfully.
“Of course it must, Humpty Dumpty said with a short laugh: “my name means the shape I am — and a good handsome shape it is, too.
With a name like yours, you might be any shape, almost."”
-- Lewis Carroll (1832-1898)


Gastronome -- The official definition: " A connoisseur of good food and drink". Does anyone else get the mental picture of elfin statuary residing in one's digestive tract?

"What is it? a learned man
Could give it a clumsy name.
Let him name it who can,
The beauty would be the same."
-- Alfred Tennyson (1809-1892)


Gastronaut -- A clever variation and would anyone like some Tang? Plus, a good name does not need explanation.

"I wrote my name upon the sand,
And trusted it would stand for aye;
But, soon, alas! the refluent sea
Had washed my feeble lines away."
-- Horatio Alger (1834-1899)


Gastronomist -- A number-cruncher with acid reflux.
And the related, Gastronomer -- A guy who looks through a telescope who also suffers from acid reflux.

"My name is Legion; for we are many."
-- Mark 5:9


Bon Vivant -- Definition: " A person with refined and sociable tastes, especially one who enjoys fine food and drink." And some people think "Foodie" implies elitism?!?

"Even today a crude sort of persecution is all that is required to create an honorable name for any sect, no matter how indifferent in itself."
-- Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900)


Epicure -- Isn't it that hair-removal device that painfully rips out body hair?

"Their Name Liveth for Evermore"
-- Rudyard Kipling (1865-1936)


Epicurean -- The deluxe model of the above device?

"The more specific the name, the better the wine."
-- Frank Schoonmaker, Frank Schoonmaker's Encyclopedia of Wine


Connoisseur
-- Too encompassing. One can be a connoisseur of anything: wine, reality television, shoes, 80's new wave bands from England...

"O thou invisible spirit of wine, if thou hast no name to be known by,
let us call thee devil!"
-- William Shakespeare (1564-1616)


Cognoscente -- Well, at least it is not a French word... but also not very specific to food... (Definition: "A person with superior, usually specialized knowledge or highly refined taste; a connoisseur.")

"A name? Oh, Jesus Christ. Ah, God, I've been called by a million names all my life. I don't want a name.
I'm better off with a grunt or a groan for a name."
-- Bernardo Bertolucci (b. 1940) from Last Tango in Paris


Fooder -- Fan's of Gene Roddenberry's Star Trek cannot abide to be described by the older and more popular "Trekkies". The preferred term is "Trekker". I am happy to be known as a birder, dancer and gardener, but fooder? It just does not work.

"To understand a name you must be acquainted with the particular of which it is a name."
-- Bertrand Russell (1872-1970)


Foodist -- I simply cannot help but think of a naked, snobby person being hand-fed grapes.

"Who hath not own'd, with rapture-smitten frame,
The power of grace, the magic of a name?"
-- Thomas Campbell (1777-1844)


Food-lover -- Dog-lover, cat-lover, horse-lover, but food-lover tends to bring to mind the movie 9-1/2 Weeks...

"A good name is better than precious ointment."
-- Ecclesiastes 7:1


Foodman -- Foodwoman? Foodperson? Foodtron? The politically-correct police are now at the door...

"Name, no, nothing is nameable, tell, no, nothing can be told,
what then, I don't know, I shouldn't have begun."
-- Samuel Beckett (1906-1989)


Foodites -- Jane Austen fans are called Janeites (because Austenites sounds too much like the residents of the capital of Texas). So would that make someone who only cooks food over a wood fire in Trenton a luddite foodite New Jerseyite?

"There is all the poetry in the world in a name. It is a poem which the mass of men hear and read. What is poetry in the common sense, but a hearing of such jingling names? I want nothing better than a good word. The name of a thing may easily be more than the thing itself to me."
-- Henry David Thoreau (1817-1862)


Foodnatic -- Hmm, not bad, but then I start to think of the Phillies mascot and thinking of the Phillies makes me loose my appetite (can someone please tell those ballplayers they need to use an epicure on all their excess body hair?!?).

"In real life, unlike in Shakespeare, the sweetness of the rose depends upon the name it bears. Things are not only what they are.
They are, in very important respects, what they seem to be."
-- Hubert H. Humphrey (1911-1978)


I give up! Until someone comes up with something better, Foodie will just have to do.

"... By any other name would smell as sweet."
-- William Shakespeare (1564-1616)

1 comment:

  1. Anonymous11:13 PM

    I'd have to think that a required class for a gastronomer must include successfully butchering Taurus into a selection of delightful cuts and chops and preparing some of them using three different heating methods. Oh, and creating a red wine and mushroom sauce.

    Love the definitions.

    ReplyDelete