Shall We Dance?

Those are words I hate to hear. Dancing does not comes naturally to me and until recently was something I always tried to avoid. After nine months of lessons, I am certainly much more comfortable with dancing than I was, but I still prefer not to dance with anyone other than my husband.

Now you’d think that would not be an issue, but it is. In the social ballroom dancing world, you are generally expected to dance with anyone who asks. The reasoning is that it is good for you to dance with many different partners because it will help you become a better dancer. Also, you hear “it is only for three or four minutes, how bad can it be?” Well, for me, it is three to four minutes that is on par with getting your teeth drilled at the dentist’s office... or giving a speech in front of a room full of people, naked, or worse, totally unprepared… or riding the metro (which is a whole other issue worthy of its own topic).

RWT and I started ballroom dancing because it is something we can do together, regardless of the weather and without having to drive any long distances (which is necessary to get to the good hiking spots in this area). Plus, for the most part, dancing is a lot safer than our other pursuits, such as rock-scrambling and sailing. The “together” is the most important aspect of dancing to me. I don’t dance simply to dance (although it is growing on me), but to spend time with my husband. Not someone else’s husband, not my dance classmates, and certainly not a stranger.

Maybe I’ve never quite gotten over my experiences when going out to bars while I was in college. My friends and I usually frequented the biggest meat market in town because it was the only place with live music and my roommate’s boyfriend was a bouncer there. Not only could I get in (I was underage), but the price was right -- free. The downside to going there… accepting a dance from a stranger gave implicit consent for them hit on you for the rest of the evening (and I won’t even go into what accepting a drink implied). One quickly learned to be very selective in accepting dance invitations.

Also, I dance like an exceptionally uncoordinated giraffe and I’m well known for trampling the cute little feet of our dance teacher whenever she wants me to demonstrate something with her in class. While I don’t mind occasionally stepping on RWT's toes (he reciprocates with regularity), I get quite self-conscious about it when dancing with other people. Hmm, "self-conscious" is probably too mild of a phrase… "totally stressed out" is much more accurate.

Dancing with others would probably improve my dancing, but if I am happy with how I dance with RWT and he is happy with how I dance with him, I don’t see where it makes a difference. I am definitely not going to be competitive dancing anytime in the future (I got my share of that type of craziness when I showed horses) and we are quite content to remain mediocre dancers together.

Or perhaps the biggest reason is that I’ve just reached the age (the crotchety old lady stage) that I don’t quite see the point in pretending something I find totally unpleasant is anything but -- especially in a situation that is supposed to be fun. So I think I’ll just continue to be rude and stay limited in my dancing. And the answer is “no”.